Mile 30.99 of the Glacial Trail 50k

Mile 30.99 of the Glacial Trail 50k
Almost Done!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Blizzard Running for Dummies

It is winter in Wisconsin, the temperature has fallen to  negative numbers with the windchill, the wind is gusting to almost 50 miles per hour outside, and there is at least 2 feet of snow on the ground. Why not take up the new winter sport that is sweeping (although rather slowly) the frigid frozen north, Blizzard Running!

Blizzard Running requires some form of mental insanity! Not only is it ridiculous, but it is also rather dangerous! Any exposed skin can be frost bitten within a matter of minutes and the danger of being hit by a passing snow plow is all to real. The Blizzard Runner must sacrifice all dignity, as passing motorists will not only give them a dirty look, but also might stop and ask, "do you need some help?", to which the runner must reply, "no, I am just going out for a run."  Be prepared to get a response similar to, "you are crazy", or, "what is wrong with you?"

Proper attire is essential for the Blizzard Runner. First, make sure to wear a very tight and all to un-flattering set of long underwear. On top of that, wear two to three layers of un-matching polar fleece and polyester. Then, layer with a jacket that restricts all movement, a face mask to block your eyesight, and ski gloves.  Proper foot wear is also important. Goretex trail running shoes, gators to keep snow out of your socks, and last but not least, Yak Trax for extra traction, will have you waddling with ease!

Make sure to plan your route accordingly, as gusting winds can make vision nearly impossible. I recommend a 1/4 mile straight away in front of one's home. Pick two very large markers to sight between as mailboxes and road signs can be buried under ridiculous amounts of snow. Run back and forth between these two points until you have gone comatose with boredom, or until you can no longer feel your face!

Finally, make sure to recover properly after your run! Sure some athlete's prefer a fancy protein drink to help promote muscle recovery, but this is Wisconsin people! Instead of recovering after your run, grab a shovel and start to dig through 4 foot high snow drifts that have magically accumulated in front of your garage overnight! Shoveling is great cross training, it hurts your back, freezes your fingers, and with all of the obscenities you will be yelling it also helps improve your vocabulary!

So as you can see, Blizzard Running is about as much fun as running in a frickin' blizzard can be! Grab your worst enemy and get out there today!

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